The Executive Perspective

This post summarizes the individual posts that discussed each step in the Authentic Speaking Model.  We work with moving our clients’ conversations from Inauthentic and Closed Conversations, to Open and Authentic Conversations.  Here is the full model:

While this post discusses the Authentic Speaking Map in a linear fashion, the actual flow of the conversation may not be linear.  The speaker may start anywhere, and move to different steps as a speaker deems appropriate. However, in the design of any Authentic Conversation, I believe it is important to declare the concern that is creating the need for conversation and also your commitment to an outcome.  When declaring your commitment to the outcome, make sure it is not just about getting the concern resolved, but that it is also about the relationship.  Make sure you are committed to improving or enhancing the relationship in some manner.  Remember, ultimately, the relationship is as important as resolving the concern.

Once you declare the concern and commitment, I suggest you move to the facts of the situation that are really relevant to the conversation, and then into the interpretation that you have given these facts.  When having an authentic conversation it is always a good practice to speak only for yourself.  In other words, speak only in “I” terms not in “you” terms.  When you speak in “You” terms you have a higher likelihood of being interpreted as accusatory.  Once this happens, you are likely to move quickly into a reactive conversation. 

The next step would be to express your feelings as a result of your interpretation. After the expression of feelings, move to what you want to get out of the conversation for yourself, for the other person, and in business settings, many times, for the team and also for the company.

After declaring your wants, move into the declaration of possibilities and opportunities. Nothing comes into existence that is not a possibility first.  Many times this step is difficult for people.  They have a hard time generating possibilities for themselves. When this happens, there is usually a predisposition to no possibilities because of their characterization of the situation, or the other person. Many times we have to do significant coaching during this step. Once you have an inventory of possibilities, you can look at the possibilities and determine which possibilities represent real opportunities; opportunities you should take action on, because they have a high likelihood of resolving the concern.  

The final step is to determine the actions to be taken in order to resolve the concern.  This means that you have to be willing to make requests of the other person, as well as making offers to the other person. When these requests and offers are negotiated then is essentially a result of promises that assuming the promises are fulfilled will take care of that concern.